This year, I’ve made it a goal to purchase a home by the end of the year. Whether that goal will be satisfied is unknown, but I have been saving lots to reach 20% down by that time.

Abnormal is how my life goes, and my living environment doesn’t seem to be any different. This is going to sound strange, but I live in a hotel room that’s pretty furnished with things like a gas fireplace, a whirlpool tub and a bathroom. I’m here because it’s extremely close to work, and I don’t pay rent. (Why I don’t pay rent is something I’m going to withhold from this article, and is totally irrevelent.)

As great as it sounds, I can’t really do what I’d like to do. At the apartment I used to live in (when work was an hour away), I played with the chemistry set I bought, cooked a bunch, had lots of open space to be creative and be ‘free’, and freely had friends over and had room to hold nice parties.

I really miss all of that. I want to be able to explore the chemistry kit more, without fear of setting off a fire alarm, for example; or, buy this home genetics lab kit that requires a kitchen to use. On most nights, I end up browsing Wikipedia reading about things I don’t understand at my current level of knowledge, but things I look forward to learning in genetics and chemistry. I feel that if I don’t do something with what I do currently know in it, I’m wasting potential and opportunity for experience. There’s lots of things that I have in my head that I want to do, but this isn’t the place for it.

This is my choice to be here though. I think if I was elsewhere, I can’t save as much, or at least, it would take much longer to save to get a home.

I think a lot about people who have the ability to become or do great things, and how they maybe cannot because of their socioeconomic status, or the environment they live in. I’m really glad I have family, both external and internal that care about my well-being and development, and assist in facilitating my growth as much as possible.

But, being where I am right now, is honestly a bit lonely. I’m unsure if the lonely I feel is the lack of contact with friends, or the worry that parents work too hard, or that I feel hindered by the environment I’ve forced myself into.

My mind looks back towards to what I probably felt was one of my most important classes, Creating a Meaningful Life, where I learned that it was okay to not be a genius as long as you’re equally curious, and it was okay to not know where you’ll be ten years ahead of time; that creativity was one of the keys to being happy.

I just need to keep it up, keep studying hard in my chemistry class, keep saving hard from work, and months from now, I’m sure this goal will sprout forth.

I want to be inspired again by someone or something, and have the environment to implement said inspiration.